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Thursday, April 25th, 2002
4:55 pm - article on fibro
fibromyalgia treatment raises eyebrows

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Wednesday, April 10th, 2002
3:51 pm
i feel really depressed today...and i hate this feeling.

i did walk today..i walked to get the mail and up to our neighbors house but no one was home...took a little nap and am now working on getting laundry done...whick is also walking since we don't have a dryer and i take it out to hang on the line

it's a bright beautiful day today too..but even that isn't helping.

went to the dr yesterday and she is going to schedule an appointment for a ct scan...
i have been trying to call the psychiatrist for an appointment but can never get through...and i am getting frustrated (seems almost like her phone isn't working properly)....

well i better get offline ...my dr tried to call earlier and i am waiting for her to call back (not sure what she called about yet)....

current mood: depresssed

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Wednesday, April 3rd, 2002
8:51 pm - haven't posted in a while...
I haven't posted in here or my reg journal in a while now. For a while i was starting to feel better and was starting to do a little more and also get out a bit more too...but unfortunatley i think i also overdid it and am now feeling a lot worse. fatigue is back full force and so is the pain...this weekend didn't help that any with how busy it was either...

i honestly think that the walks were helping but i needed to start off slower and not push myself so hard like i did...

i was also doing better when i was taking the homeopathic remidies...they were at least helping with the pain more...dr said she would look into them and do reserch on them and that she was ok with going that route if i wanted too...she just wanted to have a better idea of what i was taking and did know a little about them ...so i thought that was cool at least and she did say she was ok with not knowing why they worked as long as they were working so when i see her again i will discuss that with her (reminder i forgot to make a follow up appointment...call in the morning!!! as well as all the other phone calls i need to make..lol :-P )

I also found another think that may be causing a problem and that is that i found large amonts of mold in our bedroom...i haven't been sleeping in there lately cause i knew something was bothering me but i didn't know exactly what...well we ripped out all the wall paper and covered in mold!!!! yuck!!! no wonder why i couldn't sleep in there...

have my therapy appiontment tomorrow....

need to learn how to not overdo things...although that is harder during any holiday too...

...ok i need to post in my reg journal before they all think i'm dead...lol

current mood: exausted

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Thursday, March 14th, 2002
11:54 am - from rollercoaster ride to calmness....
last night was probrably one of the worst episodes i've had in a while...i got manic again and then was feeling in a mixed state. I was also feeling very fatigued physically at the same time from the cfs. so it was like it all hit me all at once and i was feeling manic nervous energy, racing thoughts, depression (so my racing thoughts were very negative and wanting to cry but having no tears, and the feelings that have made me want to cut before, although i did not and havent' in many years), and the physical fatigue that my body was feeling were i just physically could not function at all, as well as physical pain. it was bad...all i could do was lay on the couch shaking. i was scared and my husband had already left for work (he works nights). i layed their scared and just started praying for those feelings to go away..knowing that god does not want me to feel that way i asked him to help. i really did feel a lot of those feelings just go away all of a sudden and i felt loving arms surrounding me, like a blanket of calmness. it was so amazing...and i fell asleap that way and slept the best i have in a long, long time....i feel so thankful for that...even if it was just feeling it for a moment......

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Wednesday, March 13th, 2002
3:09 pm
i have been rapid cycling today...i have been depressed and then had a slight manic episode that only lasted a short time and then i came crashing down again...*sigh* grr...

on sunday i was manic, but the good kind that you don't want to come down from and wouldn't have any problem with it exept that you know you will crash into a deprssion after.

on monday i was depressed and cried a lot

yesterday i was kinda mixed but stayed mostly in a good mood.....

and today i have been going up and down already...and suddenly too..

i really hope i get meds...i really do want them...i am tired of dealing with this on my own and i can no longer do it.

i feel really depressed right now...but i'm sure it will pass..it always does.

physically i feel really fatigued and achy but no more so than yesterday, but yesterday was really bad....i have not done my walk today yet and i just don't think i have the energy to do it today. i took a hot bath and got really dizzy and had to lay down on the bathroom floor for a while so that i didn't pass out...still sore throat but not as bad, i think i'm alllergic to the guinea pigs or something in the house too... i did call my dr and schedule another appointment for the 21st...

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Tuesday, March 12th, 2002
9:57 pm
woke up really sore and was stiff and sore all day, but in a good mood for the most part regardless.

I made it to the lake and back for my 15 min walk...but it was really hard...i had to stop many times and i am very sore now...slept most of the day after that...very fatigued

not sure if the walking is making it better or worse....

long bath and pain killer didn't help w/ pain at all...

current mood: sore

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Monday, March 11th, 2002
10:03 pm - first entry...yeah!
i decided to do a health journal in addition to my regular journal....

this week i went to the dr on thursday..and i am supposed to start walking 15 min a day...for normal people that doesn't seem like much at all, but for me *sigh* that is a lot...

thursday- walked to neighbors house , but not back. (not 15min)
friday- i was able to walk the 15 min (with pain killers and still a lot of pain)
sat- walked some but not 15 min...walked to mailbox and back, rested and then tried to walk to the lake but made it not even half way and had to turn around.
sunday- didn't walk

monday (today) -didn't walk

feeling much more tired...a little less pain but that is with taking 3 baths a day

it didn't help that this weekend we lost power and therefore heat....made me really really sore...:( but the heat is back on and i am feeling a bit better now...but slightly feverish, and sore throat too.

reminder to self call for drs appointment in morning to schedule for 2 weeks and call about support group

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